Growing up in such a way that the majority of my time was spent dodging the wrath of those who were supremely unhappy, to the point where they decided it was better to hurt those around them, than get the necessary help available to perhaps slow down or stop the negative, unhappy spiral, and do the work to create something better – it’s easy to understand how others get stuck, myself included, in always being on for others and losing ourselves in the process.
Easy that is, once you’re aware of it.
Another way to look at it is, you spend so much energy tip-toeing or taking on and feeling other peoples feelings, so you don’t incur a negative wrath, that your own emotions turn inward and start to swell.
Until one day you realize you have been doing everything to please others, and have something to say yourself, and you realize most of those same people won’t sit and do the same for you – listen.
They’re not able to hear … only talk.
Nobody wants to hear about your problems, and inside you feel hurt, activated to the point it creates anger beyond management … so … much … rage.
Then everyone has to look out …
For those moments where the real you pops out.
When you let your guard down and tell them to go FUCK THEMSELVES for the pain they’ve caused.
And they look at you with crazy eyes, like you’re the one with the problem.
As if you being honest could somehow change their behavior.
But you can change yours …
Which is where most people get stuck, in attempting to please others into liking them, instead of being who they are and attracting those who absolutely would adore them.
Nobody is perfect.
Every relationship, the good ones, and great ones, require effort … a lot.
But there is a frequency, like a radio wave, to every relationship.
Some vibrate higher than others …
What plays on 91.7 fm is not the same as what plays on 107.9 fm.
They are different channels and thus, have different audiences and components.
As an example, what plays on 91.7 might be sad like ‘elevator’ music, and unappealing to some, while what plays on 107.9 might be that upbeat, driven type music that makes you want to kick ass.
Both have a place …
However, if we’re being honest, we ALL want to be on that higher frequency, upbeat rhythm, most of the time because that’s where joy, happiness and freedom reside.
Coming back to, nobody really wants to be around depressed, unhappy people.
It feels so good when we’re in a flowing type state of being where the vibration is tingly, light and vibrant.
Like we believe it’s something that just happens to us, instead of us creating it.
Another myth busted …
We are solely responsible for ‘how we feel’, even if ALL WE FEEL is RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s where I was stuck for a really long time.
Longer than I care to admit, like 40 years, however, let’s just say it took losing people for me to get it.
Which is too long …
And begs the questions “Why do they not embrace change willingly?” or “Why do they wait until they’re forced to change?”
Which I believe the latter at least explains that change to those who wait is of course frustrating because changing willingly is not their modus operandi, being and staying the same, is.
However, it is not frustrating to the one who understands and willingly embraces change, rolling with the rhythm of it.
Who the fuck does that?
Let’s say I skip all the rhetoric BS filler and just say, if you want to use your rage for good and not against yourself, the person who changes that dynamic is the one who acknowledges the rage and the pain it’s caused – 1000%.
At least to yourself, if not to others.
You might not get the opportunity to say sorry to those you hurt, for many reasons, and it’s important to know that, but more important to be able to be ok with yourself, even if it means you’re not ok, like me … and so many others.
The rage isn’t going to go away, you will have to learn to diffuse it at the root, and redirect it into your drive for living a life that sucks a little less today than it did yesterday.
My rage held me back and kept me safe in some ways, and in others it drove people away and hurt them.
Now I rage for the truth, and against those who don’t speak it.
How will you redirect your rage? Please, share with us below!