We touched on this in our last post, and decided it was a worthy place to dive a little deeper into the minds of these beings that inhabit this rock and water globe we call home, with us.
The species human.
You know, those other things walking around that kinda look like us, even though we don’t want to admit it.
We probably also don’t want to admit that, we know, deep down in our hearts, that we wished they cared more about us.
That they thought about us more.
Did more for our relationship.
Wanted more than the status quo.
And the sad truth is …
They don’t…
It’s not because they don’t actually want more … they do, for sure.
Everyone wants more.
Those who get more.
Do more.
And this is where it begins …
Inevitably if we have one person willing to do more, and many who are not, what happens?
I bet you know the scenario.
You’re tasked with working on a group project where your cumulative grade/outcome counts on everyone working to get the project done.
The person who chooses to do more, will be allowed to by the others.
And at the end, the others will get equal credit.
Is that fair?
Nope.
If 1 person did the majority of the work, they ‘should’ get the majority of the grade, and/or the reward for doing the work to get the job done, even though it was more than all the other participants combined.
That kind of situation is also demotivating to the person who works harder and got the same as everyone else.
Where is the incentive to work harder in a group?
It doesn’t exist …
Not if it’s not cultivated, that is, and the environment changed to acknowledge and uplift behaviors that reward those who put in the effort to grow and evolve, or at least be ok that others are not ok.
To allow space for what they cannot or do not want to understand.
It is ok to not be ok and sometimes, that is where we live.
On the edge of barely hanging in there, and doing everything in our power not to give in to dark thoughts that have yet to processed, which creep up at the most inopportune times, like when you’re tired, worn out and upset.
Then the real games begin …
At the epicenter of the emotional tidal wave, we have no real control over where it goes.
The control we have is after it comes, how do we respond, not react, to what has been presented to us.
The aftermath, as it were, will always be able to be connected after the waves have died down and you can see clearly now the rain is gone.
And all obstacles in your way…
Sometimes those obstacles will be people who you thought were cheerleaders and team you members.
The people who love you most, no matter what, were always going to be on team you.
But those who were just free agents or midseason pickups, those are the ones who are NOT going to put in that extra effort when the game is on the line and you need them to step up.
Not without incentive, that is.
Because it’s all about them …
People care about themselves, their families, their jobs, their kids, their pets, their worries …
They are narcissists.
So are you.
You want people to care about you, too.
And that’s where your incentive power lies.
Knowing that they will not think about you when things are hard for them, because they are like you.
And when things are hard for you, most of them will think about how they can help you ‘get over it’ faster and get back to caring about them, and their issues.
With this knowledge, you have a choice.
Push your people to ‘get over it’ … or, be ok that they are not ok and simply sit with them in acknowledgement of that.
If that’s what you want in return, that is.
Be present with those in their times of joy and dark … or, understand you’ll be riding alone.
Find the people who you can share your most joyous moments with, knowing that they will not compare with you, they’ll genuinely be happy for you.
Because They DO Give a F*ck!
Do you give a f*ck? Please, share with us below!